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Tuesday, April 25th, 2006
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So in case you havent stalked my away message/profile the past couple of days, my rugby team is THIRD in the country. It's fucking AWESOME. I'm so happy and had a great time in Florida. I love my team... I was going through rugby withdrawl on Monday when I hadn't seen a team memember in 10 hours.
So yeah, I have a LOT of work this week. Currently, I'm working on a paper due in 13 hours. Last night, I worked on a group project until 1. BUT tomorrow is country karoke at bentleys and christmas, flash and i are hitting it up. Oh man, I love the ruggers.
Johnny has told me I'm crazy, weird AND a dude tonight. what a bitch.
Oh man, I want to be drinking, dancing, making out or any combination of the three. It's been too long. Well, minus the dancing. I boogied down to my iPod on the bus Sunday night.
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Tuesday, April 18th, 2006
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From march 29:
I'm eating cheese eggs from the diner. Despite the fact that they look really gross, they are actually amazing. Especially in my 3-hour-of-sleep-post-bar-for-birthday daze.
This whole 20 thing is a bit weird. The past two days have been soo awkward, so obviously my social skills haven't matured at all. There's too much weirdness with the guys in my life, capped by Slobber licking me in Cornerstone last night in front of Johnny. Which, you know, shouldn't really bother me and should actually amuse me more than it does. But at the time, I knew the right move was not revealing whatever it is between Slobber and I to Johnny. Johnny's been too nice to me lately...
I hurt my knee in Savannah last Saturday. It's not getting better but I really want to play so I've been avoiding the inevitable and pretending its ok. It's not.
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Wednesday, March 15th, 2006
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It occurred to me yesterday that I don't remember the last time I cried because I was physcially hurt.
Last time I cried because of being hurt emotionally? Friday night.
I wish I could react to life the same way I react to rugby. On the field, if I get knocked down, bruised, stepped on, cut, or any other myriad of minor injuries, I will probably yell "fuck," hop up, then run back into the action.
If only I could always be like that.
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I'm looking at pink alligator Manolo Blahnik's online.
I feel like Carrie Bradshaw.
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Tuesday, February 21st, 2006
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| Time: | 8:44 pm. |
| Mood: |  crazy. |
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Today may have been the hardest day of college thus far.
Three exams in my three hardest classes.... it was nuts. I'm finally done and now I dont want to do anything, except that I have two more quizzes tomorrow. I really want to cry.
Also, rugby is getting really stressful. We're going away this weekend and this one girl somehow forgot to sign up despite my eight gazillion emails to the team, my coach yelled at me for not making hotel reservations (which I did OVER a month ago) plus I've been sick and had an exam so I haven't been to practice and I'm afraid I'm not even going to play in the tournament I put more time than anyone into organizing.
Johnny is coming over later. He's been really nice to me of late, which is always good. I'm sooo excited to cuddle up with him AHHHHH it's been forever. He took me out to breakfast Saturday morning, which I was really impressed by. He told me Friday night, while we were drunk of course, that he's "coming around" and that I could beat him up if he's not nice to me, etc. And so far he seems to be different, but I'm still really apprehensive after the past couple months. PLUS, this is also the most busy I've been since like junior year of high school and it's like the first time that I'm not sitting around thinking about how much I want a guy.
My roommate/friend situations are amazing. I don't think I've been this genuinely happy about life in college. Despite the stress, it's been going quite well.
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Thursday, February 2nd, 2006
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Also, after last night, I'm giving up on boys.
I hate feeling like shit.
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Note to self:
There is a reason why sober booty calls never gained popularity.
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Saturday, January 21st, 2006
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| Time: | 7:19 pm. |
| Mood: |  pissed off. |
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so i'm officially the biggest loser in college park right now.
i'm going to the basketball game ALONE because, as i have come to realize, everyone here is not a real friend, merely someone who enjoys my company should it be convenient.
i'm actually crying right now...i don't think i've felt like this since high school.
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Friday, January 6th, 2006
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FLIP2theFL0P: um and i hate johnny right now
jimmee8myworld: why?
FLIP2theFL0P: he just told me that he doesnt remember much of new years... so i told him how nice/romantic he was and he just said "must have been the champagne u gave me"
FLIP2theFL0P: like its all my fault he still likes me
jimmee8myworld: what an ass
FLIP2theFL0P: i know
jimmee8myworld: he doesn't deserve you
jimmee8myworld: at all.
FLIP2theFL0P: i know
FLIP2theFL0P: neither does dave neal
jimmee8myworld: nor does his trash can deserve your underwear.
FLIP2theFL0P: exactly
FLIP2theFL0P: that was $7.50
FLIP2theFL0P: who the hell throws away victoria's secret???!?!?!?!?!
jimmee8myworld: a douchebag mike grinnon wannabe.
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Wednesday, December 28th, 2005
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Last semester was my most successful yet. I pulled a 3.75 GPA, started for rugby, was elected dorm president, got a lot closer to Elise, Erin and the rugby girls and I even managed not to be hungover for 9 a.m. Honors 100. Despite all this, I can't say I enjoyed it any more than last year. Things with Johnny hit me hard and there were a lot of times I felt really lost. I missed the Anne Arundel of last year too much, not having the plethora of sophomore boys doting on us. I'm glad I cried at the end of last year...those tears were deserved.
I've also come to realize that Towson is not nearly the place I remembered it in high school. Perhaps I was too bad at keeping in touch with people or wasn't that well liked to begin with, but I'm far too lonely and introverted here. I miss College Park where everyone loves me for being the cute, fun, nice girl. Which is why I'm actually excited to be taking a winter class. It will give me something productive to do since I lack a solid job/social life in Towson, although I'll miss being at home with my family.
I'm simultaneously wanting time to go faster and slower. It's crazy how quickly my life seems to be flying by, but at the same time, it seems to slow. I want to be over Johnny, I want to be back in College Park, but at the same time, I don't want to grow up.
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Monday, December 12th, 2005
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I really hope that the next guy I seriously date is the one I marry, because I really hate breaking up.
With that thought in mind, I will never settle for anyone other than the best.
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Monday, December 5th, 2005
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I take that back. Johnny had until 12:32 this afternoon and he blew it.
I sent him a text message (since he didn't come over today) and took him out of my phone and buddy list. So far, no attempts at contacting me.
Ass.
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Wednesday, November 30th, 2005
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I'm giving Johnny until Christmas.
If I'm still confused, it's over, then I have all winter break to heal.
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Tuesday, November 29th, 2005
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I have such a horrible case of PMS, which is sabotaging my post-Thanksgiving diet.
I'm pretty much always on the verge of tears, pretty much over nothing. I'm making things up in my head that most likely aren't true, but it doesn't make it better.
AND I have really bad cramps. I really just want to crawl into bed...yes at 10:11.
I might go watch Love, Actually, which probably isn't a good idea because it reminds me of Johnny and he has me perpetually confused. I need a good guy. Sososo bad. I WANT BUTTERFLIES.*
Listening to Christmas music and decorating my mini-tree is making it slightly better, though. I don't know where to hang my stocking.
*in reference to the Sex and the City quote: "Some people are settling down, some are settling and some refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies."
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Monday, November 21st, 2005
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| Time: | 9:11 am. |
| Mood: |  loved. |
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So it's 9:11 on a Monday and I hate my body right now because I can't sleep in. I'm sick, I need to sleep but noooo, I had to wake up 30 minutes before my alarm. I don't have class until 10, but my roommate is still asleep so I can't really do much around my room in terms of cleaning/getting stuff ready for break. I only have one class this week and I have to turn in hw for another, but other than that, I have two days to pretty much do whatever. I kind of want to go out tonight for hardcore basketball and I think it's Andy's birthday, so hopefully people will be at the bars. I'm getting excited about going home, although it's always weird/kinda boring. Considering that one of the people I spent almost all of my time with junior-senior year doesn't talk me, there really aren't that many people to hang out with.
This weekend was pretty fun. Friday was anti-climactic. We went to the basketball game then came back here for a round of Kings. I went to bed early so I could be ready for...
TAILGATING.
I started with an 8:18 carbomb (my goal is to beat that at some point in college...) then tailgated until the game. I was pretty drunk, I successfully snuck beers into the game by putting them in my BRA. While tailgating, I ran into Steve Mitsak, so I played beer pong with him and his friends. I also peed in the creek and made Niko watch out for me. The game sucked because we lost, althought it was pretty close for a while.
After the game, I came back here and crashed and drank enough water that I was only slightly hungover. I went over to Johnny and Mikey's to play board games that night, which was a lot of fun and reminded me of last year's AA. :-) I don't know exactly what's going on with Johnny and I, but we're some form of back together. Ugg, I never thought I'd be that girl.
Yesterday, the fam went to Medieval Times for KJ's birthday. It was a lot more fun than I was expecting. It was also pretty obvious that Sam, Kev and I are all growing up. Which is weird.
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Friday, November 18th, 2005
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| Time: | 4:14 pm. |
| Mood: |  disappointed. |
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My alcoholic tendancies are way better than they were last year. I usually only drink once or twice a week, limiting going out unless I want to, etc. Needless to say, I am dissapointed when plans for early afternoon drinking fall through. No happy hour Brewti (the plural of Brewtus) tonight and I'm a bit sad. I'm hungry and thirsty for beer and it's 4:16. AND my Honors 100 partner was going to buy me drinks since she failed to show up for class this morning. So yeah. Just a bit sad.
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Thursday, November 10th, 2005
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what i've done
LET'S BE HONEST NOW!!
In the last month have you...
1. Had sex: ummm, yes.
2. Bought something: Only food/coffee/cups
3. Gotten sick: I don't think so
4. Sang: I realized today that I like running in the dark because no one can see me signing along
5. Been kissed: Mhmm
7. Felt stupid: Uh, always
8. Talked to an ex: Yes :-/
9. Missed someone: Of course
10. Got drunk: Hahaha, silly question
11. Gotten high: Yes...
12. Danced crazy: YESSSS
13. Gotten your hair nope
14. Watched cartoons: if South Park and Family Guy count
15. Lied: not anything notable
Last person who....
1. Slept in your bed: Me. I'm actually pretty sure I'm the only one who has slept in my bed this year
2. Saw you cry: Elise or Erin?
3. Made you cry: Stupid boys
4. You went to the movies with: Erin and Kaitlin
5. You went to the mall with: The loves of my college park life: Elise, Erin and Kaitlin
6. Made you smile: Really made me smile? That's a good question....
7. You went to dinner with: The dorm crew: Nick, Joel, Brandon, Erin and Kaitlin
8. You talked on the phone with: Mom
9. Said 'I love you' to you: My brother
10. Broke your heart: Johnny?
11. Made you laugh: Elise and Erin
12. Bought you something: Ian
13. Hugged you: Johnny
14. Made you mad: Tosan
15. Fell asleep with: Johnny
Have You Ever...
1. Said "I Love You" and meant it: In a sense
2. Got in a fight with your pet: Staring contests with Morg
3. Been to California: No :-(
4. Mexico: Nope
5. Been to China: No
6. Been to Canada: Nope
7. Been to Europe: No. BUT, i have been to 36 states, so I am a bit more well traveled than I appear
8. Wished you were the opposite sex: At times.
9. Snuck out of your house: Hahaha...its been a while
10. Give money to a homeless person: Perhaps
11. Surfed: I don't think so
12. Broken the law: Offffff course.
10 FAVORITES
1) Favorite Color: orange
2) Favorite Food: bbq chicken
3) Favorite Band: thats so hard... I have about a million: JT, jack johnson, oar...fall out boy and death cab for cutie at the moment
4) Favorite Song right now: "I will follow you into the dark" by Death Cab
5) Favorite Movie: Good Will Hunting...Matt Damon is so gorgeous AND uplifting
6) Favorite Sport: RUGBY. (and then beer pong)
7) Favorite Season: Spring/Summer
8) Favorite Day Of the Week: Friday
9) Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: mint chocolate chip or ben and jerry's half baked
10) Favorite Time of Day: when I wake up and know that I don't have to get out of bed
9 CURRENTS
1) Current Mood: chill
2) Current Taste: TAGALONGS!! my mom sent me a box...I miss the Good Ol' GS/Pink Wallabe days
3) Current Clothes: rugby sweats, towson bball long sleeve t, navy blue new balanced (i went running earlier)
4) Current Desktop: the random pic of our pirate airfreshener
5) Current Toenail Color: pink
6) Current Time: 10:37 p.m.
7) Current thoughts: How much more can I do to procrastinate before I have to actually study for my two quizzes tomorrow?
8 FIRSTS
1) First Best Friend: Allison McGeady
2) First Screen Name: StarzMJ41 (i think)
3) First Pet: Sam, the old Britney Spaniel
4) First Piercing: ears
5) First Crush: Kennedy Fitzgerald. Who apparently goes to Maryland. Lol.
6) First Music: I was raised well on James Taylor and Jackson Browne
7) First Choice College: I like William and Mary when I was little, until I went and it was so freaking small. And I wanted to go to UNC.
8) First class of the week: Music 130H: Survey of Music Lit: Honors Version
7 LASTS
1) Last Drink: Water
2) Last Car Ride: ...? Home from UMBC with Kara, Sarah and Alexa when we saw the crazy birds!
3) Last Movie Seen: the end of When Harry Met Sally on ABC family
4) Last Phone Call: Mom
5) Last CD Played: my "Driving to Philadelphia" mix while running
6) Last person you want to see right now: that bitch/slut/whore Susan
7) Last person you'd want to see before going on a years-long trip: the fam.
6 HAVE YOU EVERS
1) Have you ever been drunk: nevvvver.
2) Have You Ever Broken the Law: only for the usual
3) Have You Ever Been Arrested: nope
4) Have You Ever Snuck out of your house: Back in the day
5) Have You Ever Been on TV: i think so
6) Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn't Know: haha, probably. how about "have you ever kissed someone and not known" because i did that too.
5 THINGS
1) 1 Thing You're Wearing: a gimp bracelet
2) 1 Thing You've Done Today: i've done lots of things today, but ill go with making hand turkeys
3) 1 Thing You're Listening To Right Now: Mr. Brightside, most possibly my biggest pump up song ever
4) 1 Thing You Can't Live Without: chocolate
5) 1 Thing You Do When You're Bored: look at my own webshots
4 PLACES YOU'VE BEEN TODAY
1. Mitchell building for a new ID
2. the 4th floor lounge for the OC
3. Van Munching
4. Dining hall
3 PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL ANYTHING TO
1. KJ.
2. he's it. really.
2 CHOICES
1. black or white: black
2. hot or cold: hot
1 THING YOU WANT TO DO
1. Cuddle
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Tuesday, November 1st, 2005
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Last night was a lot of fun. From what I remember. I started at Cornerstone with Dan Morgan and Christmas for MNF, then left at half-time to go to Katie and Tracey's Halloween party. Both were really fun. Lots of dancing, too :). And as far as I know, I didnt do anything stupid. It's the first time I've successfully co-existed with Johnny in a drunken situation in a while.
Never again will I go to the bar and to a party on a Monday night, however.
My ID worked at C-Stone, which is a good thing, however, I see my bar time significantly increasing, especially since rugby is over soon and I now have a bar buddy, partner in crime (Christmas). Which will also hurt my ever decreasing bank account.
All in all, Malibu Barbie was a lot of fun. Next year, I'm going for something warmer. Forget the sluttyness...
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Thursday, October 27th, 2005
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I searched out my own guy that night. Not someone who came to me, but someone I went too. I don't know if it was the Malibu Barbie costume or the 6 Miller Lights I had downed, but Ian, the tall black guy was ridiculously attractive. He made me laugh and he was definitely a good dancer. I still found myself, however, drawn to Fransico, the awkward rugby boy I knew I could dance with, make out with and have it not mean anything. I got to thinking that night...was I really ready to move on? Did I really want something of substance? We may dance all of our nights away with guys we may never see again, but when it comes to something deep, so we shy away? Here I am, three weeks removed from the "end" of Johnny and I, looking for someone to help to ease the pain, but of course, I go for the road MORE traveled, the guy who won't care when I'm not there the next day or if I ever call back. Meeting guys is hard enough, but meeting guys at the right time is even harder. Here I am with the chance to actually connect with someone, and I'm running away to the drunk guy who won't remember me tomorrow.
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Tuesday, October 25th, 2005
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| Time: | 1:57 pm. |
| Mood: | lonely. |
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This cold, rainy weather is so depressing. All I really want to do is crawl back into my bed, under my covers and cuddle close to Testudo because he's the only thing I really have to cuddle with these days. Johnny teases me by coming over for lunch, laying in my bed and cuddling with me for twenty minutes before his next class, toying with both my heart and my need to be physically close to something. I have work to do, no motivation to do it, not to mention an accounting test on Thursday I need to do really well on if I have any chance of getting an A in the class. I really want to cry now, for no real reason in particular. I'm so bad at being alone.
You may feel alone when you're falling asleep
And everytime tears roll down your cheeks
But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet
Someday you will be loved
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orangeflavor's journal
tired.
pensive.
grumpy.
lazy.